


even if we can’t go back, at least i can go home

by sakradevi



Series: Valktober 2020 [1]
Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Universe, Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Sharing a Bed, literally i cannot stress enough how stupid he is, mika is sleepy, nazuna is only mentioned briefly, shu is stupid, shu itsuki: the ceo of creating problems for himself on accident
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26738260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakradevi/pseuds/sakradevi
Summary: If Shu’s being perfectly honest, he didn’t really want to be alone right now.Shu has a nightmare. Mika is there to comfort him.
Relationships: Itsuki Shuu/Kagehira Mika
Series: Valktober 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1946128
Comments: 14
Kudos: 61
Collections: Valktober 2020





	even if we can’t go back, at least i can go home

**Author's Note:**

> My submission for Valktober 2020 - Week 1.
> 
> Theme is “firsts” and sub prompts are “touch” and “sharing a bed.” Not the first time Shu has a nightmare, but the first time he shares a bed with Mika and is held by him. 
> 
> Big thank you to [Chie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thesweetsaddict/) for beta reading!

Shu could feel the sweat dripping down the side of his face as he stared blankly at the sea of people in the crowd in front of him. As soon as the lights and the music cut out, he froze. As soon as he had lost full control of the world he created on stage, everything else around him came crashing down. He was frozen in place. His arms and legs were locked midway through the dance step. His body was betraying his every wish to _just do something_ to salvage this rapidly deteriorating situation. 

He was mortified. This was supposed to be a defining performance of his idol career, a showcase of his artistic genius. Up until now, everything was going according to plan. He labored tirelessly over every minute aspect of this performance for months. Their costumes were perfectly constructed, intricate details woven throughout the fabric. Additionally, after too many rehearsals to count, their dance routine was finally perfected. Shu had been on edge for months in anticipation of this day, knowing fully well that his—no, _Valkyrie’s_ reputation and prestige in the idol industry was at stake because of this performance. 

The very second that the power cut out, everything that he had cultivated in Valkyrie crumbled away, leaving only broken remains of who they once were littered among the rubble. 

The three performers were stranded alone up on the stage, surrounded by a hostile sea of onlookers, ready to snap them up if they made just one wrong move. It was as if they stood beside a cliff these past few months, being ever-so-slowly pushed to the edge, ready to fall at any moment.

Instead of being memorialized in the audience’s memory as part of a beautiful, masterfully-constructed narrative, it would be remembered as nothing more than a failure. The threads holding his artistic vision together were coming apart at the seams. In this moment, his masterpiece— his own personal construction and escape from this bitter, disgusting, cruel world —is being ripped apart into tattered shreds right before his eyes. Truly, this absolute disaster of a performance is a reflection of all that Shu is capable of: disappointing his unit mates, his viewers, and more than anything else—himself. 

This was not the perfect stage Shu had masterfully crafted and dedicated practically every waking moment to for the past several months. This was not the fruit of all of his hard work, nor an adequate reflection of his talents and artistic vision. No, this scenario was the polar opposite. He was living through his worst fears—being inadequate, a humiliation, a disgrace to the world of fine art and beauty. 

There was no doubt about it. He was living through a nightmare. 

It was hellish. Excruciating. He wouldn’t wish this feeling on his worst enemy. He hated feeling and seeing all of his hard work come undone at the flip of a switch. He hated feeling like he had no control over what happens in his life. It’s part of the reason why he feels the need to have to dictate every single minuscule detail of his art.

So he can have _some_ semblance of control in a world where everything seems to slip from his grasp. It’s what helps ground him. It gives him a sense of stability amidst all the chaos and disruption around him.

But right now? The perfect, picturesque stage he had constructed was shattered. He was literally in the dark. It’s as if the gears are turning against each other, bringing the machine to a halt and breaking it apart from the inside. For the first time, it’s as if Shu is being controlled by some invisible puppet master, the strings attached to him being irreparably tangled. 

He wanted to break down and start crying as a thought dawned on him: His attempts to create a perfect, beautiful stage? They were nothing but foolish attempts to provide an escape, a distraction from the world around him. He and his beautiful marionettes—they were just an illusion from the reality of his situation. It was never Nito or Kagehira—rather, _he_ was really the doll all along, perpetually at the mercy of whatever creature was entangling his strings. He was powerless. Broken. 

He’s broken out of his cycle of mental anguish by the sound of Mika’s voice. Unprompted and all by himself, Mika steps forward and begins to continue where they had all left off at, singing with more passion than Shu has ever heard. He’s helpless as he just stares at Mika’s form, fixated on his every movement.

A moment later, Nito joins in as well. He’s _actually_ singing using his true voice. Normally, Shu would tell him off for threatening the perfection of his perfectly curated artwork, but under their current circumstances, he pays him no mind. All of his attention is focused on Mika.

Shu’s wholly enraptured with Mika’s voice, with his courage to step forward amidst the chaos, with the way he clutches his chest as he pours his heart and soul out into their lyrics—more accurately, onto _their_ stage. More than anything, though, Shu’s captivated by what Mika’s doing for him. He was nearly on the verge of having a full-on mental breakdown on stage. But Mika’s voice snapped him right out of that trance. He _saved_ him. All of his previous thoughts about his partner, about how he was _maybe_ a bit of a bother—but at least he had a pretty face—were thrown out the window. No longer did his preconceptions about him matter—what mattered was what was happening right now. In an auditorium filled to the brim with spectators and the like, Shu can only see Mika. 

Shu steps forward to join Nazuna and Mika in continuing the verses of the song. As he’s surrounded by them, he darts his eyes towards Mika’s. For a second, their gazes meet the other. Mika’s eyes are half-lidded, small tears pricking at the corners of his mismatched eyes. Shu’s overcome with a wave of emotion and can’t help but let a tear escape and slide down his cheek. 

In that one shared moment between them, Shu falls in love.

*~*~*~*~*~*

The next thing he knows, he’s standing across from Mika at the gate in front of Yumenosaki. They’re facing each other, but Shu’s not entirely sure what expression he has plastered across his face right now. He’s disoriented. He doesn’t know how he got to the front of the school. The last thing he remembered was the _incident_ and singing on stage with Mika. Looking down at himself, he notices that he’s back to wearing his regular school uniform. He comes to conclude that it’s probably been a while since they were last on stage. At least enough time for them to change out of their clothes. Looking around, he notices that no one else is near them. Nito probably ran away from Shu at the very first opportunity he had. Shu decides to shelf that thought and focus his attention back on his current situation. He racked his brains trying to recall anything that happened in between, but he was just drawing blanks. Everything was a little hazy and he wasn’t sure why. 

The only thing he knows for certain, though, is that he feels _something_ for Mika. Something that wasn’t there before that performance.

Something unexpected. Something that he has no control over. 

That _scares_ him. 

Shu looks back at Mika. He sees him using his right hand to tightly grip at his left arm, fingers curling into the fabric and leaving creases in their wake. He’s distinctly turned his head downwards and away from Shu. He wonders if Mika remembers anything, or could provide some answers as to why they’re both suddenly outside the school. Studying Mika’s gaze, he looks… despondent? Restless? No, maybe it’s more like he’s unhappy about something. 

Before he has the chance to ask him what’s wrong, Mika is speaking up in a quiet voice.

“Nnnh, Oshi-san…” Mika began, his grip on his blazer becoming tighter. “‘m really sorry fer what ‘m gonna tell ya but… I think ‘s really fer the best. Fer Valkyrie, fer me, ‘n fer yer own sake ‘s well.”

Shu was taken aback. He couldn’t help the anxiety he felt welling up inside of him. Solely judging by Mika’s tone, he had a feeling he was not going to like what he was about to hear. 

… But on the bright side, it probably can’t be much worse than what he just went through in what was probably the worst live performance ever. God, he’s _definitely_ going to be having nightmares about _that_ for the foreseeable future. 

“What is it, Kagehira? Is everything all right?”

“Nnn… err… well, yeah, I guess ya could say that. But, uh, well… Errr,” he began, casting his head further down so he was staring directly at the pavement below him. He inhaled a deep breath and then exhaled before continuing. “Actually… no. ‘m sorry fer lyin’, but really? Nothin’s alright. ‘m feelin’ tired an’ anxious an’ stressed all the time, an’ my mental state’s been real bad.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that… Is there… Do you have something that I could help with in mind?”

“Yeah. I do, actually. ‘s why I called ya out here. I wanted t’tell ya it in person. ‘s prolly the best way t’go about it ‘n all, yanno.”

“Well, don’t keep me waiting. What is it?”

Mika sucked in a breath and raised his head, looking directly into Shu’s eyes. His expression was blank - Shu couldn’t read his face at all.

“‘m gonna leave Valkyrie.”

Shu froze. It was like all the horrible emotions he felt when the electricity cut out were overflowing throughout him. Here he was, experiencing the exact same scenario all over again. Except this time? It hurt _way_ more.

Mika was _so_ important to him, and he finally felt like he was ready to move forward with acknowledging that—no, more like finally moving forward and acting on what he was feeling— so why? Why was he being pushed away? 

Was it because of how he had acted in the past few months? 

He was disappointed in himself. He had never intended to hurt those closest to him. He was under a lot of pressure in the past few months and he was on edge as a result. All of that overwhelming stress seeped out and tainted his relationship with the rest of Valkyrie. This is where he’s ended up: alone, with the most important person in the world to him leaving him behind to fade into dust.

Without waiting for Shu to respond, Mika turned around and began walking away. “Goodbye, Oshi-san.”

“Wait!” Shu pleaded, extending his arm out for Mika. He wanted to follow him, to chase after him and hold him in his arms. But his body was telling him otherwise, refusing to move at his own instruction. He felt like he was reliving that terrible moment on stage all over again, stuck in place while everything around him comes crashing down. “Didn’t you say that you’d always stay by my side? As my partner?”

Mika continued walking away from Shu, not even turning his head to give him one last look.

“I lied.”

* * *

Shu shot up in his bed, his ragged, panicked breaths the only sound filling the dark room. A cold sweat dripped down his neck. He could feel his heart racing. Clutching his blanket in his hands, he frantically glanced over at the clock resting on his bedside table. 3:47 AM. 

So, that _was_ a nightmare. It’s been several months since the _incident_ but he was still letting it get the best of him. He had gone a while without having a panic attack or a nightmare because of it, but it seems that those memories always come back to haunt him when he’s least expecting it. He couldn’t escape it even in his dreams. For now, it was like he was stuck in a horrible loop of reliving the same traumatic event over and over, with no way to run away or pause it. It was hellish. 

But this time… This time he dreamed about it, it was different. This nightmare wasn’t like the other ones he had. This time, Mika had left him.

Well, okay, that wasn’t exactly the reality. Dream Mika had left him, but real Mika? He was still there. _Supposedly._ They were living in the same house now but Shu and Mika had separate bedrooms just so the both of them could have their own personal space and have time to themselves if desired. 

But if Shu’s being perfectly honest, he didn’t really want to be alone right now.

He shoved his blanket off of him and jumped out of bed. Kicking his feet into a pair of slippers, he threw open his door and slammed it shut behind him, racing down the hallway for Mika’s bedroom. He had to make sure that he wasn’t imagining things. That his dream wasn’t fortelling some twisted, depressing future for him. That Mika was actually still there. 

_It wasn’t real, none of that happened, it was all just a terrible dream. A horrible, disgusting dream,_ he reminded himself, in an attempt to will away the anxious thoughts to steady shaky breath. That… _it already happened. It’s over now. I don’t have anything to worry about. It won’t happen again. And… Mika didn’t leave. I’m going to get to his room, and I’ll surely see him sleeping in bed as usual._

_… I will, won’t I?_

He approached the door to Mika’s bedroom and placed his hand on the doorknob. He hesitated to turn it, just in case his worst fear was true. And also because he was nervous. He… he was in the process of truly admitting it to himself, but, he knew that something was there. Some sort of feeling was present for Mika.

… They were romantic.

He so desperately wanted to be with Mika right now, to be comforted by him. To ignore everything wrong with the world and instead focus on how much he wants to just be with him. To be in his arms without a care in the world for anything other than the two of them.

With a deep breath, he slowly turned the doorknob with his shaky hands and pushed the door open.

When Shu stepped into Mika’s bedroom, he felt a wave of relief wash over him. Contrary to the absolute garbage Shu’s anxiety-induced brain was poisoning his mental state with, Mika _didn’t_ leave. He was right here. Sleeping in bed as peaceful as he could be, a warm blanket draped over his figure as he cuddled a stuffed animal in his arms. Totally unaware of all the dirt in the world at this moment. He looked content. 

The total opposite of what Shu was feeling after that awful dream. He doesn’t want to disturb Mika because of how calm he looks. 

But he wants to be relaxed like that too. He wants to feel calm, happy, and warm. He really needs to hear some reassurance, that Mika doesn’t hate him, that he won’t leave him, that he’s good enough. That he’s not a failure or a disgrace to everything and everyone he’s ever known. 

Oh, to be a small stuffed animal, held in the arms of a sleeping Mika. 

So, Shu decides that he’s going to make his dreams a reality… by wriggling his way into Mika’s arms. 

He crosses over to where Mika’s resting, nearly tripping on some clothes and miscellaneous objects littered all over the floor. It’s a miracle he makes it to the edge of the bed without knocking something down or falling over.

Shu sits on the edge of the bed. He can already feel a wave of calmness wash over him, even though he’s just merely seated in Mika’s presence. He reaches over to him and tucks a loose strand of hair behind his ear, smiling softly to himself as Mika responds with a quiet, drowsy sigh. 

After gazing longingly at Mika for a moment, he snaps his attention away from Mika’s beautiful face. He wants more than anything to just go back to sleep with him, to be swept away from the memory of his awful nightmare. However, as he looked down at how Mika was sleeping soundly and tightly cuddling his stuffed animal, a realization instantly dawned upon Shu.

Oh, shit. He didn’t think any of this through. At all.

There was no way he was going to get through this, getting into Mika’s arms without waking him up and then having to explain himself in what will quite likely be the Most Awkward Confrontation, Probably Ever. 

Plus, it’s nearly 4 AM. His brain’s not working.

Wait, that’s probably why he’s here anyways with this stupid plan. 

Well, he’s nothing if not dedicated to carrying out his plans. He will get what he wants, even if it’s going to be awkward as all hell.

With his mental battle over, Shu begins to execute his mission. Eyes glossing over Mika’s sleeping form, he ponders what the best course of action is. He’s holding his stuffed animal so tightly. If Shu tried to free it from his grasp he’d have to use some force and that would certainly result in Mika waking up, probably while he’s doing something weird like holding his arm. Having to explain to his partner why he was _gripping his arm_ at 4 in the morning was now at the top of his list of scenarios he would like to avoid at all costs. Definitely a hard pass, thank you very much.

So, he decides to _literally_ wriggle into Mika’s arms. Thankfully the bed was big enough for two bodies to fit comfortably so he didn’t have to worry about squishing Mika up against a wall or anything. Plus, Mika was small. He shifted so that his legs were no longer dangling off the side of the bed. From there, he began to lay down, slowly scooting down the bed as he did. Once his head was around the level of Mika’s elbow, he moved his head up and wiggled it against Mika, trying to weave his way into Mika’s arms in the little space there was. He nudged at the gap, silently willing Mika to open up his arms a bit more in his sleep so he could get in. 

If _anyone_ saw him right now he’d either kill them on sight or combust into a million little pieces. Actually, he’d probably do both. 

Here he was, Valkyrie’s leader, Shu Itsuki, a master of art, trying to slither up into his partner’s arms like a _goddamn snake._ This was absolutely pathetic. He wanted to shrivel up and collapse. All he was feeling in this moment was pure regret. 

… But as stupid as he was behaving right now, he couldn’t deny the fact that he _really really really_ wanted to be held by Mika. If he had to act like a clown to get there, then so be it. 

He nudged his head against Mika’s arm once more. He could feel Mika move his arm a bit, but he still wasn’t in his arms. 

Well, not yet at least. He was nothing if not determined. 

However, he stopped his movements the minute he felt Mika rustling more than what was probably natural for someone so deep in sleep. He could hear Mika making those little moans and sleepy sighs that are characteristic of his usual wake-up routine. Mika’s probably going to wake up and see Shu trying to shimmy his way into his arms like an absolute buffoon. 

Oh god. In Shu’s mind, any romantic prospects that he and Mika might have ever had were being doused in oil and lit on fire at this very moment. He’d be lucky if Mika didn’t burst into a fit of laughter and mockery. Hell, he’d be lucky if he managed to escape with this situation with a shred of dignity. 

“Nnnh~? Whaaa? Nnh, ‘s somethin’ goin’ on?” Mika said to no one in particular, his eyes still tightly shut. 

Shu felt his body leave his soul. Mika was awake. Everything was over, there was no point in hiding any longer. Plus, it’s not like he could. He was laying in bed with his head propped up against Mika’s elbow. As far as sleeping positions went, this definitely wasn’t cute. 

“Yes… It’s me, Kagehira. I’m right here.”

“Nnnh, Oshi-san? What’re ya doin’? Yer in m’bed? What’re ya doin’ down there?” Mika asked, still not fully awake and processing what exactly was happening. He tried to glance down since he could feel the press of Shu’s body against his and he could kind of make out his figure in the dark. He released his hold on his stuffed animal with one hand, bringing it up to rub at his eyes as his vision slowly adjusted to the dark. He let out a little yawn, stretching both of his arms out above his head. “Err, what time is it? ‘s not mornin’ already, is it? Mmmm, jus’ wanna go back t’bed…” 

“Sorry. It looks like I’ve woken you up. It’s about 4 in the morning right now.” He can’t help but feel majorly guilty at waking up Mika at this hour with his weird “Give-Me-Attention-Or-I-Will-Physically-Cease-To-Exist” shenanigans. He’s definitely not going to be admitting that though. So, he resides to lay in his self-induced awkward position against Mika. 

“Err… alright then. Why’re ya awake then? An’ why am I awake? Don’t yanno that m’alarm clock’s not gonna go off fer a few more hours? Can I help ya with somethin’ down there? Did ya wanna cuddle with a stuffed animal? Here, I gotta whole buncha ‘em right over here!” he exclaimed, still slurring some of his words due to just waking up in the last few minutes. He rolled on his side to reach for a stuffed cat plushie he had sitting on the other edge of his bed. Taking it into his hands, he turned back and plopped it on his stomach, close to Shu’s head. Look, it didn’t have to make sense. It was 4 in the goddamn morning, his brain wasn’t working either. “Here ya go, Oshi-san~. Did ya see a ghost or somethin’? Yanno, monsters ain’t real so ya got nothin’ t’worry about! ‘n don’t worry, ‘m gonna protect ya from any scary monsters under ya bed or somethin’... Jeez, Oshi-san, yer just like a little kid. Mmm, I dunno what’s up but if yer scared hold onto it and sleep next ta it so ya can give it a good squeeze if yer feelin’ scared. He’s real friendly so he’ll take good care of ya fer sure!”

Christ, Shu couldn’t take much more of this. Seriously, Mika was cuter than goddamn _bunnies._ No wonder Shu’s fallen so hard for him. He reaches out for the stuffed cat that Mika has so generously offered him and cuddles it in his arms.

“No, there weren’t any monsters. Do you really think I’d believe in that type of nonsense? It’s childish,” he began but paused, not having the energy to retort any further.

“Well, if there weren’t any monsters then what’re ya afraid of? Also, ‘m sorry, but… I gotta ask. What’re ya doin’ by my elbow?”

Shu wanted to smack his palm against his forehead. Of course, Mika seemed to finally be awake enough to see the predicament Shu’s inflicted upon himself. He mentally braced himself for all of the explaining he was going to have to do. Cue the most awkward conversation ever. 

“Umm… Well. It’s a bit of a long story.”

“Well, I got some time. ‘s not like ‘m in the middle of sleepin’ or anythin’,” he playfully sneered. He didn’t mean anything serious by it. He wasn’t actually that mad. If anything, he appreciated the change in the routine, being suddenly awoken by Shu in the middle of the night. Living with Shu always kept his life from being too boring. He was amused. Besides, he was at the point in being awake where it’d be too difficult to return to sleep for a while. Might as well talk to Shu than lay in bed, hopelessly trying to will himself back to slumbering peacefully.

Shu sucked in a deep breath. Here he goes.

“Well, I had a nightmare. You remember how I was having dreams about… you know… that day? Well, I had another one for the first time in a while and… It was different. This time, everything was the exact same except at the end of it you… you said that you were leaving Valkyrie. Permanently. And it just…” he trailed off, taking another deep breath in to collect himself. “It scared me. A lot. I don’t want to lose you. You’re so important to me.” 

“Ahh, I see. So that’s what happened,” Mika replied. “Ya don’t have t’worry about things like that, yanno. ‘m not gonna go anywhere. ‘m right here.”

Shu sucked in a breath. He could still hear Dream Mika telling him that he was going to leave. The sound of his “I lied” was ringing in his ears. He couldn’t help but feel a twinge of pain prick at his chest as Mika reassured him. He wanted to believe him. He really did. But his brain, anxiety, and fears had other plans.

“In my dream… Kagehira, the ‘you’ in my dream said the same thing. But… you said that you were lying. And that you were going to leave me anyways.”

“Eh? I did? Yeah, well, ‘m sorry about that I guess? I can’t really control whatever ‘m sayin’ in yer dreams, Oshi-san. ‘m here now though. Isn’t that enough?”

Shu sighed. Slowly, he began to smile. Mika was right. He wasn’t responsible for the awful thoughts Shu’s brain puts into his head. All he could do now was embrace the present moment. There was no use in taking it for granted. 

“Nnnh, anyways, Oshi-san. Ya never answered the other question. What the heck’re ya doin’ by my elbow? ‘s it comfy?”

Jesus, could Shu _please_ just enjoy his tender moment without being called out for being a complete idiot? He couldn’t catch a break!

“... I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not doing anything.”

“Then why the heck’re ya in m’bed?!”

“... No reason in particular.”

“Oshi-san, there’s gotta be a pretty good reason for ya bein’ in m’bed at 4 o’clock in the mornin’. What, did ya just walk over here in yer sleep?”

“Non!”

“Oshi-san… Ya do realize ‘m not gonna buy that answer at all?”

Shit. He was trapped. There was no way out of this other than having to admit the real reason why he was here. God, just skin him alive already.

“... I wanted you to hold me,” he quietly chokes out.

“Eh?! Ya wanted what?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself.”

“Ya wanted me t’hold ya? So… ya decided that the best way t’go about it would be t’... t’climb into m’bed at 4 in the mornin’ and rub yer head on m’elbow? Yep, that’s m’Oshi-san alright!”

“Shut up, Kagehira.”  
  
“Ehehe~ ‘m just teasin’ ya, yanno. Anyways, if ya really wanna be held so badly then c’mere.” Mika adjusted his position and opened his arms. He patted his chest and gestured for Shu to come. He wasn’t going to ask Shu _why_ he was so adamant at being held by Mika. That was a conversation they’d have when they were more awake. 

Shu squirmed up from his location near Mika’s side, instead realigning himself to rest his head on Mika’s chest. He felt his face heat up at how close he was about to be to Mika. Which is ironic, considering how he was the instigator of this entire situation anyways. _Stupid crush._

He could hear his heartbeat and feel the rise and fall of his breathing. This was… something. it was the first time he could recall ever being so close to Mika. And it felt… different. Probably because of his feelings getting in the way. But also because of how _intimate_ it felt. He didn’t have much—if any—experience on the romantic feelings or relationship front, but he was _pretty sure_ laying tangled together in the same bed, being comforted and tenderly held after having a terrible nightmare was distinctly _not_ something friends did. Probably not even best friends. 

Man, feelings _sucked._ Couldn’t they just skip to the part where they’re both happily in love?

Wait—that would require Mika to feel the same way as him. He was pretty sure that this was some stupid, one-sided thing that wouldn’t—

 _No, stop that. No more anxious or depressing thoughts. Forget them and just enjoy the moment_ , Shu thought to himself. _I don’t know the next time I’ll get to experience this._

All the while, Mika was rubbing his hands along Shu’s back and upper arms and whispering sweet nothings to him. He finally felt relaxed and at peace. He feels himself go limp as he’s held by Mika, relishing in the attention bestowed upon him by the object of his affection. He closed his eyes and silently mouthed a “thank you” to Mika.

For rescuing him. For being there for him. For…

For loving him. Shu doesn’t know if it’s romantic or platonic, but… Simply being here in his darkest hour and not abandoning him—even after all that’s happened between them, Mika wouldn’t be here doing all of this unless he deeply cared about Shu. Shu only hopes that one day, just one day, he’ll be able to repay Mika for everything.

All his worries were going to be gone. He was here, lying in bed with Mika, their bodies pressed tightly together. He could feel himself slowly drifting off to sleep.

For now, Mika was just going to cradle Shu in his arms and gently run his fingers through his hair, washing away whatever terrible, unwanted thoughts were haunting him.

He’s safe now.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading, I hope you guys liked it! :D I live for soft and tender shumika so uhhh *throws this fic at you* TAKE THEM THEY’RE FALLING ASLEEP IN EACH OTHER’S ARMS
> 
> [slams shu and mika together] stop being stupid PLEASE just kiss already i can’t stand you two
> 
> if you like my content please consider supporting me!  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/sakradevi) | [my other works](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakradevi/works) ☆彡
> 
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